So here we are in to September already. As you are aware things have been really tough recently as I have been struggling with serious 'self doubt', 'weight issue', 'depression' & unworthiness in general.
Well this morning I had an AHA Moment!
I picked up this months' editon of one of my favourite Magazines 'O Magazine' and it was entitled the 'Makeover Edition'. Quite an appropriate title to be honest. I sat at 4am! yes 4am this morning and read it whilst looking after the younger 2, who had decided to get up that early!!! yet again!
Anyway, I was reading the whole magazine and the articles (luckily I can read pretty fast!) and came to the conclusion that only I, ME, myself can change what is happening to me at the moment.
Last night as i was feeling extremely knackered I visited my best friend who is about to give birth any day now & really had a good chat about things. I have missed those chats over tea & cake! Anyway, I said to her that I wanted to get a bike so that I can exercise as am not happy about the size I am & want to be fit for myself & the kids, but also an inspiration to them too. She offered me her bike! i was completely overwhelmed with her generosity (it's on loan for a least a year). This will enable me to cycle Tim to school in a couple of weeks as well as get myself fit & healthy.
I don't know what I would do without friends like her.
Then I came home & went straight to bed as was late!
This morning I got up feeling exhausted as per usual recently and read my O Magazine. After I had finished I thought to myself 'AHA!' From then I decided that today was going to be a brand new day. A new start......today & from now on I was going to do stuff for myself....if I want it I will do my best to get it....I set myself a list of things in my head that I want to achieve
* New me - weight loss, fitness, pride in myself & health - 1st priority if I don't look after me first then no-one else will!
* Family - 2nd priority, make sure that they are getting my attention & being looked after better than I have ever done before, be an ear, give them love, nurture them more than have done
* Marriage - 3rd priority, I am determined to make it better! Make more time for US as a couple
* Money - need to get on top of the finances, daily!
* Career - need to find a job that will enable me to provide for the family & change the current situation! work on getting my resume re-jigged & looking professional. seek professional help with how to get back to work, look at what career I really want & work towards getting it
* Pride in my house - redecorate, de-clutter & minimise. Less stuff means less clearing up & more time for the family & less stress!
* Eco friendly - use the bike more instead of a car, use the dryer less where possible, make sure all electrics are switched off at night
* Scrap stash - sort through & sell off what I haven't used in months! someone might want it!!
* Routine - make sure that I create a routine for the kids & stick to it, be consistent
* Clearout sale - this will get rid of 'stuff', help with the de-clutter & also helps with the finances too, may be put towards a holiday for the family
Today is a new day, a new start, a positive move.....today is the day I do change for ME not for anyone else!!!
Today is the day that I say 'I love me! I am proud of me! I can do this for my family, be a better ME!'
Change starts within & today is THAT day
Thursday 2 September 2010
Wednesday 18 August 2010
Is it really 2 months since my last post!
I can't believe it is 2 months since I last did an entry on here......so what has been going on in my busy world...
1. My baby sis got married, had a great day apart from being pulled in to my dress :( but the day itself was lovely. She looked lovely & the most girlie I have ever seen her. We got some great photos which I may put a couple on here, some of my faves
2. We are still trying to sort out all these various benefits which I have to say is really starting to get to me. I try so hard to keep things together but the stress that filling in forms, chasing and all the other nigthmares that go with it cause, I ask myself is it really worth it?
3. Joe and Sam have now both started at their new school and seem to be settling in really well. Joe got his report at the end of term and I have to say I was sooooo proud. He got straight A's and level 5 & 6's. Considering he had only been there 6 weeks I was super chuffed. Let's hope he keeps it going.
4. Tim had his last day at pre-school at the end of July. I got emotional about it as it became very real that my baby was starting school in September. The pre-school have put together a little photobook so that he is able to recognise things before he starts. He also had a couple of 'taster' days which flagged up that he does has Asbergers' syndrome like Joe. I did get upset about that, but on the flip side we know early so the school are aware which is great.
5. I got Mark to start Slimming World as his back is really really bad, the worst I have really known it since the accident back in 98. He doesn't help himself though and I do get really annoyed as he sits on the pc all day, every day and barely moves from the chair so I don't think he is helping himself. I do get really annoyed with him as I am doing EVERYTHING!!! gggrrrrr
Anyway, we are doing well and even though I gained all the weight back and more from when I started before I am back on track. Let's hope I can do it this time
6. I am ready to commit murder this summers hols as the boys don't really want to be out doing stuff which is driving me to somewhere near potty. So today I am forcing them out to do stuff as they need to get out of the house, they just seem to be fighting. Why are boys soooo different to girls? that is a question that raises debates worldwide! I never really used to stay in but if I did I was in my room listening to music most of the time or decorating it in posters!!
The up side is that Sam and Joe have discovered that they can really lose themselves in books which I am soo pleased with as reading is such an escapism
7. I have decided that I am going to do some classes on Big Picture Scrapbook, it does cost money but I thought I can learn new techniques and start making my own stuff to sell and try and make a bit of money.....can't wait!
So here we are nearing the end of August and let's check.....
Stress level.....quite high
Weight loss....going down
Body measurements....going down
School uniform.....getting there
Scrapbook Retreat......can't wait for, so excited.......a weekend just for me!!!!! worth more than anyone will ever know
1. My baby sis got married, had a great day apart from being pulled in to my dress :( but the day itself was lovely. She looked lovely & the most girlie I have ever seen her. We got some great photos which I may put a couple on here, some of my faves
2. We are still trying to sort out all these various benefits which I have to say is really starting to get to me. I try so hard to keep things together but the stress that filling in forms, chasing and all the other nigthmares that go with it cause, I ask myself is it really worth it?
3. Joe and Sam have now both started at their new school and seem to be settling in really well. Joe got his report at the end of term and I have to say I was sooooo proud. He got straight A's and level 5 & 6's. Considering he had only been there 6 weeks I was super chuffed. Let's hope he keeps it going.
4. Tim had his last day at pre-school at the end of July. I got emotional about it as it became very real that my baby was starting school in September. The pre-school have put together a little photobook so that he is able to recognise things before he starts. He also had a couple of 'taster' days which flagged up that he does has Asbergers' syndrome like Joe. I did get upset about that, but on the flip side we know early so the school are aware which is great.
5. I got Mark to start Slimming World as his back is really really bad, the worst I have really known it since the accident back in 98. He doesn't help himself though and I do get really annoyed as he sits on the pc all day, every day and barely moves from the chair so I don't think he is helping himself. I do get really annoyed with him as I am doing EVERYTHING!!! gggrrrrr
Anyway, we are doing well and even though I gained all the weight back and more from when I started before I am back on track. Let's hope I can do it this time
6. I am ready to commit murder this summers hols as the boys don't really want to be out doing stuff which is driving me to somewhere near potty. So today I am forcing them out to do stuff as they need to get out of the house, they just seem to be fighting. Why are boys soooo different to girls? that is a question that raises debates worldwide! I never really used to stay in but if I did I was in my room listening to music most of the time or decorating it in posters!!
The up side is that Sam and Joe have discovered that they can really lose themselves in books which I am soo pleased with as reading is such an escapism
7. I have decided that I am going to do some classes on Big Picture Scrapbook, it does cost money but I thought I can learn new techniques and start making my own stuff to sell and try and make a bit of money.....can't wait!
So here we are nearing the end of August and let's check.....
Stress level.....quite high
Weight loss....going down
Body measurements....going down
School uniform.....getting there
Scrapbook Retreat......can't wait for, so excited.......a weekend just for me!!!!! worth more than anyone will ever know
Tuesday 15 June 2010
Could things get any worse right now!
I know that I am putting the question out there which is not really good as it means that I am giving out those negative vibes, but sometimes I feel that being positive is a hard thing to do.
There are soooo many things going on at the mo in my life that could all tumble down like a block of bricks being knocked over.
I wish I could wave a magic wand to make it 'all better' but I know that right now it is a bleak situation.
We are on the verge of losing our home as I haven't coped well and the mortgage hasn't been paid in 3 months! Not good considering Mark was made redundant in April and the 'fab job' that I was offered, never actually happened in the end. People should not be allowed to mess about with other people's lives as this has had a major impact on EVERYTHING! It was supposed to make things better, but I guess that is what you get when you rely on someone else.
I am not happy with the way that things are at home at the minute as I feel sooooo invisible and under appreciated for what I do..........
.....I now know that this is how a lot of Mum's must feel at some point....but here's the question......Should we be treated like slaves? Should WE be the only ones to do everything?......who is really looking after us?.........these are questions that I have been asking myself ALOT! I have 3 able bodied people in this house apart from me and feel that I am STILL doing everything.....when I started to 'fall apart' recently I was told that I couldn't do that as what would everyone else do?......can you believe that! So it is ok for everyone else to have issues, but when it comes to ME! NOTHING! NOT ALLOWED!!!!
I have recently be missing my family more and female company even more as men be complete pains and selfish, but I guess I am acting a little selfish at the min, but WHY NOT! I feel like a little girl at the min as I am seriously throwing my teddy in the corner........I want to feel loved, not just told that I am loved as right now I certainly don't feel it......I just feel that I am here to clean up the CRAP!
I know that I shouldn't be using this blog for this but I feel that I can really let go on here, & yes I guess air some of that laundry!
I have also made the decision to sell my Bon Jovi tickets that I was soooo looking forward to seeing this weekend as it is too much money to waste right now, let's hope I manage to do that otherwise I might as well go!
Amazingly I should be feeling great as Tim is turning 4 tomorrow, but it is hard to concerntrate on that at the min when everything else is going to the dogs
I must pop off otherwise this could go on for a while! not good really......so apologies to those who feel that I shouldn't really be doing this
I hope next blog will have some positive out of it
There are soooo many things going on at the mo in my life that could all tumble down like a block of bricks being knocked over.
I wish I could wave a magic wand to make it 'all better' but I know that right now it is a bleak situation.
We are on the verge of losing our home as I haven't coped well and the mortgage hasn't been paid in 3 months! Not good considering Mark was made redundant in April and the 'fab job' that I was offered, never actually happened in the end. People should not be allowed to mess about with other people's lives as this has had a major impact on EVERYTHING! It was supposed to make things better, but I guess that is what you get when you rely on someone else.
I am not happy with the way that things are at home at the minute as I feel sooooo invisible and under appreciated for what I do..........
.....I now know that this is how a lot of Mum's must feel at some point....but here's the question......Should we be treated like slaves? Should WE be the only ones to do everything?......who is really looking after us?.........these are questions that I have been asking myself ALOT! I have 3 able bodied people in this house apart from me and feel that I am STILL doing everything.....when I started to 'fall apart' recently I was told that I couldn't do that as what would everyone else do?......can you believe that! So it is ok for everyone else to have issues, but when it comes to ME! NOTHING! NOT ALLOWED!!!!
I have recently be missing my family more and female company even more as men be complete pains and selfish, but I guess I am acting a little selfish at the min, but WHY NOT! I feel like a little girl at the min as I am seriously throwing my teddy in the corner........I want to feel loved, not just told that I am loved as right now I certainly don't feel it......I just feel that I am here to clean up the CRAP!
I know that I shouldn't be using this blog for this but I feel that I can really let go on here, & yes I guess air some of that laundry!
I have also made the decision to sell my Bon Jovi tickets that I was soooo looking forward to seeing this weekend as it is too much money to waste right now, let's hope I manage to do that otherwise I might as well go!
Amazingly I should be feeling great as Tim is turning 4 tomorrow, but it is hard to concerntrate on that at the min when everything else is going to the dogs
I must pop off otherwise this could go on for a while! not good really......so apologies to those who feel that I shouldn't really be doing this
I hope next blog will have some positive out of it
Sunday 6 June 2010
Is he 14 already!
So my 'baby' turned 14 this month!
So here we are remembering how I was when Joe was born....22, newly married, just left the forces, thinking how did I end up here! So at 22 I had no idea what to expect or how I was going to manage as a new wife and new mum, the thought of it just terrified me if I am totally honest.
I met Mark on my last 6 weeks in the Falkland Islands! not planned let me tell you.....I was planning to leave the forces in the April (met Mark in the Aug before) and go and do some travelling....I remember Mum saying that you should do some in your life as you may regret it later! how right was she! not that I would ever tell her that of course!!! :D
So after returning from the Falklands my life then turned in to a roller coaster.....found out I was pregnant on my leave......told Mark! which went better than I thought it would down a phone! he wasn't due back til Nov and I really couldn't leave it that long! then first week of December he proposed, then 30th December we got married! Jan 97 we moved in to our first home together....Mark was away on exercise & I was 4 months pregnant! Mad I know! I still had 3 months to go before I would be leaving the forces, but Joe had other ideas!! I was signed off sick til I left as I had a rough pregnancy.....little did I know then I was having a ready made 3 month old!
So here we were in May and his due date came and went! Huge looking like I was having twins I went in to Salisbury hospital on 31st May, 10 days over his due date I got enduced.....wow, that was an experience!
3 and a half days later!!!!! Joe was born by emergency c-section, I was so scared as I was awake! I tried to stay calm but when they told me he was stuck I worried....a lot!
So at 3am on 3rd June 1996 out came Joe....58 cm long & 10lb 10oz!!!! he was a BIG baby!
The nurses were soo lovely and loved to hold him and let me sleep as I needed a blood transfusion after as he took sooo much goodness from me.
He was gorgeous (of course he still is!); my 'little' man.......always quicker than other kids his age doing things, always interested in lots of more advance stuff....of course I thought it was 'normal' as I didn't know any different.......So jump ahead to this year, Jan 2010 Joe is diagnosed with ASD!
So that explains lots of things, but also fills me with fear....what! what is this thing he has? how do I cope with this? am I alone here or is this something other people deal with? are all ASD kids the same?
These were just some questions that I had
Now in June 2010 I realise that he is special as he is different but sooo intelligent, advanced yet still a child, challenging but rewarding. I am learning so much about this condition that I look at things differently. I won't lie it is really hard to know what is best still, but I am working on it.
Joe is now 14, size 11 (men size) feet, 5'10 inches tall!!!! blonde & blue eyed (heartbreaker in the making!!)
I love you Joe, good, bad and ugly times, but you are you and unique
I am so proud of who you are and who you want to become xxxx
So here we are remembering how I was when Joe was born....22, newly married, just left the forces, thinking how did I end up here! So at 22 I had no idea what to expect or how I was going to manage as a new wife and new mum, the thought of it just terrified me if I am totally honest.
I met Mark on my last 6 weeks in the Falkland Islands! not planned let me tell you.....I was planning to leave the forces in the April (met Mark in the Aug before) and go and do some travelling....I remember Mum saying that you should do some in your life as you may regret it later! how right was she! not that I would ever tell her that of course!!! :D
So after returning from the Falklands my life then turned in to a roller coaster.....found out I was pregnant on my leave......told Mark! which went better than I thought it would down a phone! he wasn't due back til Nov and I really couldn't leave it that long! then first week of December he proposed, then 30th December we got married! Jan 97 we moved in to our first home together....Mark was away on exercise & I was 4 months pregnant! Mad I know! I still had 3 months to go before I would be leaving the forces, but Joe had other ideas!! I was signed off sick til I left as I had a rough pregnancy.....little did I know then I was having a ready made 3 month old!
So here we were in May and his due date came and went! Huge looking like I was having twins I went in to Salisbury hospital on 31st May, 10 days over his due date I got enduced.....wow, that was an experience!
3 and a half days later!!!!! Joe was born by emergency c-section, I was so scared as I was awake! I tried to stay calm but when they told me he was stuck I worried....a lot!
So at 3am on 3rd June 1996 out came Joe....58 cm long & 10lb 10oz!!!! he was a BIG baby!
The nurses were soo lovely and loved to hold him and let me sleep as I needed a blood transfusion after as he took sooo much goodness from me.
He was gorgeous (of course he still is!); my 'little' man.......always quicker than other kids his age doing things, always interested in lots of more advance stuff....of course I thought it was 'normal' as I didn't know any different.......So jump ahead to this year, Jan 2010 Joe is diagnosed with ASD!
So that explains lots of things, but also fills me with fear....what! what is this thing he has? how do I cope with this? am I alone here or is this something other people deal with? are all ASD kids the same?
These were just some questions that I had
Now in June 2010 I realise that he is special as he is different but sooo intelligent, advanced yet still a child, challenging but rewarding. I am learning so much about this condition that I look at things differently. I won't lie it is really hard to know what is best still, but I am working on it.
Joe is now 14, size 11 (men size) feet, 5'10 inches tall!!!! blonde & blue eyed (heartbreaker in the making!!)
I love you Joe, good, bad and ugly times, but you are you and unique
I am so proud of who you are and who you want to become xxxx
Can't Believe it's June Already!!!
So here we are halfway through the year already! How scary!
So for the first time I have been struggling really badly with life! my grasp on reality seemed to have escaped me recently and things got too much. I ran away! at my age! well not really ran away but escaped to Devon as I couldn't face anything. Things were just too much.
I don't like the feeling of loss of control as it means that the family mechanics break down.....it seems that I have to 'keep it together' so that Mark doesn't fall apart! How unfair is that! I can't breakdown without consequence!
I gave some home truths when I got back, some I wasn't planning to do, but in anger and frustration they just came out. So now I feel a bit more relieved as I wasn't planning to blurt out what I did, but hey it needed to be said so now I am feeling better.
So here is the plan......
1. Move out the house and sell
2. Seek therapy!
3. Structure and routine to the household
4. Major de-clutter (sell stuff, donate stuff, bin stuff)
5. Fix broken doors
6. HAVE A HOLIDAY!
Well the last one is going to be needed after everything!
So here is my thought.....
Don't let life get you down, don't let the things in your head build up so that it gets too much. Always share what is going on otherwise you will struggle more in the long run
Think positive even when life is getting too much, all these things are meant to happen so that we can learn and grow from them
So for the first time I have been struggling really badly with life! my grasp on reality seemed to have escaped me recently and things got too much. I ran away! at my age! well not really ran away but escaped to Devon as I couldn't face anything. Things were just too much.
I don't like the feeling of loss of control as it means that the family mechanics break down.....it seems that I have to 'keep it together' so that Mark doesn't fall apart! How unfair is that! I can't breakdown without consequence!
I gave some home truths when I got back, some I wasn't planning to do, but in anger and frustration they just came out. So now I feel a bit more relieved as I wasn't planning to blurt out what I did, but hey it needed to be said so now I am feeling better.
So here is the plan......
1. Move out the house and sell
2. Seek therapy!
3. Structure and routine to the household
4. Major de-clutter (sell stuff, donate stuff, bin stuff)
5. Fix broken doors
6. HAVE A HOLIDAY!
Well the last one is going to be needed after everything!
So here is my thought.....
Don't let life get you down, don't let the things in your head build up so that it gets too much. Always share what is going on otherwise you will struggle more in the long run
Think positive even when life is getting too much, all these things are meant to happen so that we can learn and grow from them
Sunday 9 May 2010
Wow is Ben 1 Already!
So here we are on May 9th and Ben has been one now for 10 days!
I can't believe how quick his first year has gone. He has done soo much with still lots to learn over the next few years.
He got lots for his birthday so thanks for all the pressies and took 2 days to open them! But hey, enjoy that part while it lasts as they get too carried away when they get older.
He wasn't sure about birthday cake though! bless him, I got some great pics though so will endeavour to scrap those soon enough
Since his birthday he seems to have grown up quite a bit, as he is now pulling himself up, saying Mama ALL the time, knows when he is hungry and when he just wants a cuddle. He is trying to walk so we are practising with him, but he is crawling round really fast so not really bothered about him walking just yet....after all each baby is different, Joe walked at 7 & a half months, Sam at 14 months, Tim at 8 months....so don't mind, it is down to him, it is when he feels ready.
His hair is going really curly now at the back which is soooo cute! It is also a strawberry blonde colour at the min, but I am sure that will change soon enough.
He makes me laugh as he loves kisses, raspberries being blown on his mouth & tummy and giggles alot. He is soooo well natured that it is precious
Ben belated Happy Birthday, Lots of Love, hugs, Kisses & eskimoes Mummy xxxxx
I can't believe how quick his first year has gone. He has done soo much with still lots to learn over the next few years.
He got lots for his birthday so thanks for all the pressies and took 2 days to open them! But hey, enjoy that part while it lasts as they get too carried away when they get older.
He wasn't sure about birthday cake though! bless him, I got some great pics though so will endeavour to scrap those soon enough
Since his birthday he seems to have grown up quite a bit, as he is now pulling himself up, saying Mama ALL the time, knows when he is hungry and when he just wants a cuddle. He is trying to walk so we are practising with him, but he is crawling round really fast so not really bothered about him walking just yet....after all each baby is different, Joe walked at 7 & a half months, Sam at 14 months, Tim at 8 months....so don't mind, it is down to him, it is when he feels ready.
His hair is going really curly now at the back which is soooo cute! It is also a strawberry blonde colour at the min, but I am sure that will change soon enough.
He makes me laugh as he loves kisses, raspberries being blown on his mouth & tummy and giggles alot. He is soooo well natured that it is precious
Ben belated Happy Birthday, Lots of Love, hugs, Kisses & eskimoes Mummy xxxxx
Friday 16 April 2010
Things are on the up!
So it has been a little while since I 'blogged' and things have definately been improving. May be it is my state of mind as I have started to think more positive as negative thoughts were definately not working.
I was weighed at Slimming World 2 weeks ago and felt disappointed in myself as I was again only 2 pounds under the weight from when I started with them 10 months ago, which made me feel really low. So I got a kick up the bum that night I will tell you. I have now with my crafty head on have created my own food diary and have been filling it in, warts and all for the past week and last night I was weighed again.....I will be honest I really wasn't sure how I would do, but I knew that I had been pretty good......
I LOST 7 & A HALF POUNDS!!!!!
I was completely gobsmacked, I stepped off the scales twice as I didn't believe what I was reading on the reader! I was in complete shock as I never expected to have lost that amount in a single week!
So here I am now half a stone lighter! thinking that this is it. I have signed up to do a fitness camp starting next week, so I am looking forward to that as I am of the opinion that you can lose all the weight under the sun, but if you don't work out it won't work. So I am looking to get healthy and fit. I will post a before pic soon once I have loaded the pics onto my pc.
On another note, the home life is improving, we now make sure that we have most meals around the table which the kids are getting used to as I feel that we can talk and laugh with each other and working on the family unit is important. The boys are getting better too around the table as it is structure and consistency.
I will admit that half term has been hard work, but no where near as bad as it is has been in the past. Maybe it's because we have been talking more as a family and trying to work together on compromises.
Joe is getting there with the outbursts that he has been having as I am trying to sort things out that we can work on controlling them better after we had a huge one recently causing a lot of damage to doors in the house. He has learned from that he needs to calm down and remove himself from the situation at hand, which the outburst after the 'damaging' one was better handled.
Sam has been struggling, I am trying to support and working with him which is proving challenging. He is acting out for some reason, reasons that he will not tell us. We will get the bottom of it though. May be it is just becoming a teenager, he is probably confused about what is going on.
So I said things were looking up and they are. I have 2 interviews next week for jobs, one of them is a second interview for a contract role based locally and the other means a re-location but is a permanent role. Personally I think I would prefer the contract role as it will help us to get on top of the money situation. Any way we will just have to see what happens.
TTFN and here's to things going well for longer!
I was weighed at Slimming World 2 weeks ago and felt disappointed in myself as I was again only 2 pounds under the weight from when I started with them 10 months ago, which made me feel really low. So I got a kick up the bum that night I will tell you. I have now with my crafty head on have created my own food diary and have been filling it in, warts and all for the past week and last night I was weighed again.....I will be honest I really wasn't sure how I would do, but I knew that I had been pretty good......
I LOST 7 & A HALF POUNDS!!!!!
I was completely gobsmacked, I stepped off the scales twice as I didn't believe what I was reading on the reader! I was in complete shock as I never expected to have lost that amount in a single week!
So here I am now half a stone lighter! thinking that this is it. I have signed up to do a fitness camp starting next week, so I am looking forward to that as I am of the opinion that you can lose all the weight under the sun, but if you don't work out it won't work. So I am looking to get healthy and fit. I will post a before pic soon once I have loaded the pics onto my pc.
On another note, the home life is improving, we now make sure that we have most meals around the table which the kids are getting used to as I feel that we can talk and laugh with each other and working on the family unit is important. The boys are getting better too around the table as it is structure and consistency.
I will admit that half term has been hard work, but no where near as bad as it is has been in the past. Maybe it's because we have been talking more as a family and trying to work together on compromises.
Joe is getting there with the outbursts that he has been having as I am trying to sort things out that we can work on controlling them better after we had a huge one recently causing a lot of damage to doors in the house. He has learned from that he needs to calm down and remove himself from the situation at hand, which the outburst after the 'damaging' one was better handled.
Sam has been struggling, I am trying to support and working with him which is proving challenging. He is acting out for some reason, reasons that he will not tell us. We will get the bottom of it though. May be it is just becoming a teenager, he is probably confused about what is going on.
So I said things were looking up and they are. I have 2 interviews next week for jobs, one of them is a second interview for a contract role based locally and the other means a re-location but is a permanent role. Personally I think I would prefer the contract role as it will help us to get on top of the money situation. Any way we will just have to see what happens.
TTFN and here's to things going well for longer!
Friday 9 April 2010
New day, new start
Well be a bit rough recently in the Maylam household......
1. Mark's been made redundant! His was the job we thought would be the secure one!
2. Joe caused £1000 damage to the house when he had an 'autistic outburst' last week
3. Tim is acting up & getting agressive
4. Panicking about mortgage payments due to Mark's redundancy
5. I AM NEARLY BACK UP TO THE SAME WEIGHT AS WHEN I STARTED SW LAST JUNE!!!!!!!
I have decided that today 9th April is going to be a new start & I am looking to focus more positive. I have decided to start doing a fitness bootcamp to try & give me a kick up the bum with regards to my fitness. I don't want to go to Zoe's wedding in June looking like a ten ton heffer! (that's how I am feeling at the min). Things have been sooo stressful over the past few months that I have forgotten to look after myself as I have been concerntrating on everyone else, forgetting that I should look after myself first. I heard a quote recently on Oprah 'if you were on a plane & the oxygen masks came down, would you do your's first or everyone elses?'
I am no good to the kids if I am not healthy & fit so here is to a new focused me! (I hope)
1. Mark's been made redundant! His was the job we thought would be the secure one!
2. Joe caused £1000 damage to the house when he had an 'autistic outburst' last week
3. Tim is acting up & getting agressive
4. Panicking about mortgage payments due to Mark's redundancy
5. I AM NEARLY BACK UP TO THE SAME WEIGHT AS WHEN I STARTED SW LAST JUNE!!!!!!!
I have decided that today 9th April is going to be a new start & I am looking to focus more positive. I have decided to start doing a fitness bootcamp to try & give me a kick up the bum with regards to my fitness. I don't want to go to Zoe's wedding in June looking like a ten ton heffer! (that's how I am feeling at the min). Things have been sooo stressful over the past few months that I have forgotten to look after myself as I have been concerntrating on everyone else, forgetting that I should look after myself first. I heard a quote recently on Oprah 'if you were on a plane & the oxygen masks came down, would you do your's first or everyone elses?'
I am no good to the kids if I am not healthy & fit so here is to a new focused me! (I hope)
Friday 26 March 2010
New Stuff!
Wow! I have had the most exciting news this month!.......my best girlfriend Lisa is expecting her first baby!!!! I am soooo excited for her and Daddy Stuart, they are going to make the best parents. I am now going to get busy organising her Baby Shower over the next couple of months. Have I said that I am SUPER EXCITED!!!!! :D
On another good note, Ben is crawling really well now and is going to be 1 on the 29th April! I can't believe that it has been a year already since he came out looking sooo cute! oh he still is of course ;) He hair is changing colour yet again, he is now going strawberry blond! oh well one out of 4 isn't bad.....mmmm I hope he will be more blond than a redhead, but he is gorgeous no matter what colour hair he has
Sam is going to be changing school soon as the bullying has been worse than normal so Mark and I decided that it isn't fair on him so we are looking for a new school so that he can have a fresh start
Joe took his test for the local Grammer School yesterday and we now just have to wait, he doesn't think he has done well but I said that as long as he did his best that is all we can ask of him, so here's fingers crossed for that
Tim will find out next month what school he will be going to in September, I can't believe he will be going to school soon, it doesn't seem like yesterday that he was Ben's age! soooo scary how fast it has gone...time that is!
With regards to the house things are looking up so I am feeling alot more positive now than before. I know that things happen for a reason so I know it was a test, so here's to the next few months
On a down note Mark is being made redundant on 2nd April so he is looking for a new job now, but I have said that I don't really want to go back to work as I think that I have changed a lot and want to be at home for the kids now, but I have said that if a job comes before he gets one then I will do it, but would really prefer not too, but who knows what is around the corner
Anyway TTFN & here's to lots of Chocolate at Easter!!!! well not for me of course ;)
On another good note, Ben is crawling really well now and is going to be 1 on the 29th April! I can't believe that it has been a year already since he came out looking sooo cute! oh he still is of course ;) He hair is changing colour yet again, he is now going strawberry blond! oh well one out of 4 isn't bad.....mmmm I hope he will be more blond than a redhead, but he is gorgeous no matter what colour hair he has
Sam is going to be changing school soon as the bullying has been worse than normal so Mark and I decided that it isn't fair on him so we are looking for a new school so that he can have a fresh start
Joe took his test for the local Grammer School yesterday and we now just have to wait, he doesn't think he has done well but I said that as long as he did his best that is all we can ask of him, so here's fingers crossed for that
Tim will find out next month what school he will be going to in September, I can't believe he will be going to school soon, it doesn't seem like yesterday that he was Ben's age! soooo scary how fast it has gone...time that is!
With regards to the house things are looking up so I am feeling alot more positive now than before. I know that things happen for a reason so I know it was a test, so here's to the next few months
On a down note Mark is being made redundant on 2nd April so he is looking for a new job now, but I have said that I don't really want to go back to work as I think that I have changed a lot and want to be at home for the kids now, but I have said that if a job comes before he gets one then I will do it, but would really prefer not too, but who knows what is around the corner
Anyway TTFN & here's to lots of Chocolate at Easter!!!! well not for me of course ;)
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Update
So today I was shocked to hear that my idol as a teen has died at the age of 38! Corey Haim was a part of the 80's teen scene and was a fixture on my wall! It makes you realise that life is soo short to take things for granted
Well on a happier note things have started to improve, Joe's diagnosis is making a lot of things make sense now and also we are getting help with the financial situation as well which is making me feel a whole lot better.
Oh a super fab note Ben is now crawling forwards!!!! I am sooo proud! It first happened on my birthday which was the best present I could have asked for, he is getting so big so quick, but he is still a absolute gem and such a cutie!
I had photos taken of him yesterday in Boots and there is also a 'face of mini mode' competition so I decided to put Ben in for that as I think he would do well, but then again you never know who they will be up against, but here's to having everything crossed
Well on a happier note things have started to improve, Joe's diagnosis is making a lot of things make sense now and also we are getting help with the financial situation as well which is making me feel a whole lot better.
Oh a super fab note Ben is now crawling forwards!!!! I am sooo proud! It first happened on my birthday which was the best present I could have asked for, he is getting so big so quick, but he is still a absolute gem and such a cutie!
I had photos taken of him yesterday in Boots and there is also a 'face of mini mode' competition so I decided to put Ben in for that as I think he would do well, but then again you never know who they will be up against, but here's to having everything crossed
Monday 15 February 2010
Hectic month
Well it's been a while since my last blog, well 2 weeks near enough!
Joe is still coming to terms of having ASD but he is finding that a lot of people he knows or someone they know have it, so it is becoming a little easier.
Tim is rebelling at the min, but I guess that what 3 & a half is all about...starting to find out who you are. He is looking forward to this weekend as Ben is being christened and he is looking forward to seeing his Nanny and Grandpa.
Ben is growing up fast, 9 and a half month's old now, I can't believe it really. He is really coming on now, trying to pull himself up in his cot now and also trying to speak more too which is soooo cute. He loves to sit on the mats that we have too and just play really, lots of toys with noise and lights, he seems to love those.
Sam is having a tough time at the min with some bullies, but we are speaking to the school to get on top of things, if it doesn't change though we are going to find out who they are and speak to the parents of the kids concerned. His confidence is really low at the minute but I am working really hard to bring him back to his lovely caring self. I miss my Sammy, he is not there, but hopefully we can get him back.
I had a lovely card from Mark this year for Valentine's Day, he always writes lovely words inside too, which make you feel warm and fuzzy. I made him a canvas of one of our wedding photos which I love and Mark seemed to like it too, which is great. Wow it's 15 years this year we have been together! Blimey time flies!
Well we have a busy week ahead as Ben is being christened this coming Sunday, so busy, busy, busy.......can't wait!
Joe is still coming to terms of having ASD but he is finding that a lot of people he knows or someone they know have it, so it is becoming a little easier.
Tim is rebelling at the min, but I guess that what 3 & a half is all about...starting to find out who you are. He is looking forward to this weekend as Ben is being christened and he is looking forward to seeing his Nanny and Grandpa.
Ben is growing up fast, 9 and a half month's old now, I can't believe it really. He is really coming on now, trying to pull himself up in his cot now and also trying to speak more too which is soooo cute. He loves to sit on the mats that we have too and just play really, lots of toys with noise and lights, he seems to love those.
Sam is having a tough time at the min with some bullies, but we are speaking to the school to get on top of things, if it doesn't change though we are going to find out who they are and speak to the parents of the kids concerned. His confidence is really low at the minute but I am working really hard to bring him back to his lovely caring self. I miss my Sammy, he is not there, but hopefully we can get him back.
I had a lovely card from Mark this year for Valentine's Day, he always writes lovely words inside too, which make you feel warm and fuzzy. I made him a canvas of one of our wedding photos which I love and Mark seemed to like it too, which is great. Wow it's 15 years this year we have been together! Blimey time flies!
Well we have a busy week ahead as Ben is being christened this coming Sunday, so busy, busy, busy.......can't wait!
Wednesday 3 February 2010
Ben's progress
Well our little man is now 9 months old! It has gone soooo fast the past 9 months but rewarding as well as very tiring.
He has come a long way over the past month, he can now sit up, which took a while for him to master, he has also started to shuffle on the floor. I guess it's only a matter of time til he figures out how to crawl or walk, he loves being on his feet.
He can clap now too, which I love as babies look so cute when they clap as they smile as well as they know it is a sense of achievement. He is laughing a lot more now which is great, he is such a happy little one.
He is still teething so sleep is still a luxury, but once that is out of the way then I am sure he will be fine as not many to go now. He seems to cut them like the other 3 did, in blocks of 3 or 4! makes it very painful for him but gets it out of the way quicker.
Oh yes, my favourite is that he loves cuddles and kisses! I know that will stop when he gets older ;)
Here's to another month of progress. We also have his christening on the 21st as they changed it from the 20th, which was a bit of a nightmare, but hey as long as we can get him christened I am not bothered really
He has come a long way over the past month, he can now sit up, which took a while for him to master, he has also started to shuffle on the floor. I guess it's only a matter of time til he figures out how to crawl or walk, he loves being on his feet.
He can clap now too, which I love as babies look so cute when they clap as they smile as well as they know it is a sense of achievement. He is laughing a lot more now which is great, he is such a happy little one.
He is still teething so sleep is still a luxury, but once that is out of the way then I am sure he will be fine as not many to go now. He seems to cut them like the other 3 did, in blocks of 3 or 4! makes it very painful for him but gets it out of the way quicker.
Oh yes, my favourite is that he loves cuddles and kisses! I know that will stop when he gets older ;)
Here's to another month of progress. We also have his christening on the 21st as they changed it from the 20th, which was a bit of a nightmare, but hey as long as we can get him christened I am not bothered really
New Beginnings
Well it's been a while since I 'blogged' so I feel that it is time for an update.
It has been a tough few weeks due to the stress of a house full of men!! but it has been productive as finally we have been to get Joe tested for ASD (Autisitic Spectrum Disorder). We only found out last thursday so frustrating as been trying to get him tested since he was 8! We now know that not all his behaviour is because he is a pain in the butt! but that there is a reason behind some of it.
He was diagnosed with Asbergers Syndrome which means he has autistic tendancies such as not being able to show his emotions how others do, also he is very intelligent (which we already know). At least we can now get the right support for what he needs and also this will now enable us to find the best school to cater for what he needs.
I am still working on hubby to get him to move but he is being very stubborn, but there is nothing new there! One of the reasons is that Joe needs his own space as that will help his symptoms to improve. I am trying to get help with the move thing but it is going to be hard to get hubby to move as he is stuck in his ways...I will keep you posted on this
It has been a tough few weeks due to the stress of a house full of men!! but it has been productive as finally we have been to get Joe tested for ASD (Autisitic Spectrum Disorder). We only found out last thursday so frustrating as been trying to get him tested since he was 8! We now know that not all his behaviour is because he is a pain in the butt! but that there is a reason behind some of it.
He was diagnosed with Asbergers Syndrome which means he has autistic tendancies such as not being able to show his emotions how others do, also he is very intelligent (which we already know). At least we can now get the right support for what he needs and also this will now enable us to find the best school to cater for what he needs.
I am still working on hubby to get him to move but he is being very stubborn, but there is nothing new there! One of the reasons is that Joe needs his own space as that will help his symptoms to improve. I am trying to get help with the move thing but it is going to be hard to get hubby to move as he is stuck in his ways...I will keep you posted on this
Thursday 21 January 2010
Big day coming soon
Another post this evening as I haven't written in a while....
I am looking forward to this month, even though is it going to be a very busy one as per usual....how I used to work full time and be a mum and keep on top of everything I don't know as I find it extrememly hard to just get enough time to do day-to-day stuff now!
Anyway enough of that.
I am looking forward to this month as our Baby Boy is being Christened on the 21st Feb and it is going to be a celebration of him. He is such a delight to have as he makes me smile. Yesterday he clapped his hands for the first time, on 20th December he said his first word....typically it was 'Dada'!
He is growing up so quick, but that is lovely to see all the new stuff he does on a daily basis, he has now just woken up for a feed so I am going to sign off now
I am looking forward to this month, even though is it going to be a very busy one as per usual....how I used to work full time and be a mum and keep on top of everything I don't know as I find it extrememly hard to just get enough time to do day-to-day stuff now!
Anyway enough of that.
I am looking forward to this month as our Baby Boy is being Christened on the 21st Feb and it is going to be a celebration of him. He is such a delight to have as he makes me smile. Yesterday he clapped his hands for the first time, on 20th December he said his first word....typically it was 'Dada'!
He is growing up so quick, but that is lovely to see all the new stuff he does on a daily basis, he has now just woken up for a feed so I am going to sign off now
Life is too short
Wow I have just watched both the season premiere's of 2 of my favourite shows Brothers & Sisters and Grey's Anatomy....
In Grey's George O'Malley dies from injuries caused by saving a woman and being run over by a bus, so as you can imagine I blubbed like a baby as it was horrific and the storyline of the other characters was brilliant, then to my shock Kitty in Brothers & Sisters is diagnosed with Cancer! What a start to the series for both.
It has however made me think about my own life and what would happen. I know that it would devastate me is something like Cancer was to happen and to be honest with you is one of my worst fears. However I also realise that life is too short to sit by the sidelines and wonder 'What if'. My plan this year is to succeed in life with the house, the family and the other challenges that get thrown at you. Life is a roll-a-coaster of emotions, but the main thing in all of it is Family, Friends and you!
I am looking forward to this year and am hoping that the start of it is just a small bump as has not got off to a good start, but the rest of the year will be of satisfaction in making the garden go from a bog to a picture out of a magazine and the family will work together as a unit again after a couple of rough years of dis-connection. It is going to be a challenge and probably a hard one at that, but I hope a good one.
In Grey's George O'Malley dies from injuries caused by saving a woman and being run over by a bus, so as you can imagine I blubbed like a baby as it was horrific and the storyline of the other characters was brilliant, then to my shock Kitty in Brothers & Sisters is diagnosed with Cancer! What a start to the series for both.
It has however made me think about my own life and what would happen. I know that it would devastate me is something like Cancer was to happen and to be honest with you is one of my worst fears. However I also realise that life is too short to sit by the sidelines and wonder 'What if'. My plan this year is to succeed in life with the house, the family and the other challenges that get thrown at you. Life is a roll-a-coaster of emotions, but the main thing in all of it is Family, Friends and you!
I am looking forward to this year and am hoping that the start of it is just a small bump as has not got off to a good start, but the rest of the year will be of satisfaction in making the garden go from a bog to a picture out of a magazine and the family will work together as a unit again after a couple of rough years of dis-connection. It is going to be a challenge and probably a hard one at that, but I hope a good one.
Wednesday 6 January 2010
SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!!!!
Wow, we have sooooo much snow!
We have been making an igloo outside on our driveway with just the snow from our drive as it is at least 8 inches deep!
Tim our 3rd son had the snow up to his bottom!!
We are apparently expecting more snow and also more cold weather for at least the next week.
I will post some photos once I have downloaded them of all the snow and also our magnificent igloo that we are hoping to finish tomorrow hopefully
We have been making an igloo outside on our driveway with just the snow from our drive as it is at least 8 inches deep!
Tim our 3rd son had the snow up to his bottom!!
We are apparently expecting more snow and also more cold weather for at least the next week.
I will post some photos once I have downloaded them of all the snow and also our magnificent igloo that we are hoping to finish tomorrow hopefully
Sunday 3 January 2010
Happy New Year
Wow, I still can't believe that we are in 2010! the past decade has just flown by.
Happy New Year to everyone
The new year has started off as most do with me & a cold! I have been struggling for the past few days with glands being up :( Also my brain is tick tick ticking at night so sleep is proving difficult.
However, I am feeling optimistic about this year as everything negative happens for a reason and I am feeling that we are learning everyday with challenges that come about.
The first challenge of the year is to get back on top of the house!! Springclean & De-clutter is the words of the day
Happy New Year to everyone
The new year has started off as most do with me & a cold! I have been struggling for the past few days with glands being up :( Also my brain is tick tick ticking at night so sleep is proving difficult.
However, I am feeling optimistic about this year as everything negative happens for a reason and I am feeling that we are learning everyday with challenges that come about.
The first challenge of the year is to get back on top of the house!! Springclean & De-clutter is the words of the day
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