Wow has it really been that long since my last post!

I can't believe it has been nearly a year since my last post! Gosh were has the time gone!

Well where do I start.....

It's been a tough year which was not in my plan. My sister & her husband lost their gorgeous son Oscar. I couldn't believe that it happened, but I know that he will never ever get forgotten. I am currently working on a mini album for him using the papers I bought to start his first scrap album. I haven't yet put the photos in as I need to be able to cope with that one emotionally myself. I am so pleased that they are both expecting again. We are all looking forward to meeting this one as we were for Oscar & we are hoping that it will all continue to go well. She is struggling with nausia at the mo but hopefully that will pass. My mum said she thought she was having twins & to keep hold of our pushchair as you can convert it into a double pram! my sister had a scan & that was one of the first questions I asked!

Only one!

Tim started & finished school since I did my last post! I can't believe he is going back into Year 1! Joe is going to be in his final year at school & he can leave in June next year! I hope that he is going to do really well with the rest of his exams. Sam is in his options year when he goes back!....he said that he knows which subjects he wants to do but now not sure what he wants to do when he leaves school.....I just hope he is happy in whatever he decides to do......

I feel sooo old!

Ben turned 2 this year I can't believe that he is 2 already! It's great as he is starting to show his little personality now which I love. He is also sooo much like Sam to look at it is pretty scary!

What was more scary was when we cut all the older 3's hair a few weeks ago how much Joe & Tim look like each other more so now than they have ever done! I was completely shocked! we knew they looked alike but not as much as they do now

Mark is doing well. It got to the stage where I didn't know if I could carry on caring for everyone as I was getting so tired of not being looked after myself. I know that sounds kinda dumb but I wanted someone to cook me dinner, run me a bath, look after me for a bit.....luckily now Mark has had an injection in his back and is able to walk properly again. I don't know how long this will last but I hope it carries on as he has now a new outlook on life which after years of being depressed is fantastic to see. I know also that the boys are loving their 'new dad'. I am so pleased for the boys as they all suffered with their dad & the situation the way that it was.

The latter part of the year has been going pretty well actually....

My sister & hubby getting pregnant again, Mark getting his injection, oh yes I am working now too!

I am finding going back to work tougher than I thought I would. I couldn't wait to get back. I am enjoying my job & it's great to be 'back out there' but I miss being at home with Ben. Bear in mind that I had been home since Nov 2010 so going back to work after 2 & a half years was a bit of a shock. Every time I see Ben when I get home his face lights up & he runs over if he is not in the car (when Mark comes to collect me). I know that it is a big shift in dynamics for the kids but it seems to be going well at the min. Mark did get a shock to the system as he didn't realise how organised I really had to be with juggling everything. He is doing a pretty good job with all the appointments that you have with kids & all their activities. His diary has become his best friend! lol! I try to make as many appointments as I can but obviously it's hard with working. I do use my diary still alot & we 'sync' our diaries every few days just to make sure we are both on the same page. I can't believe we do that. I thought I only did that with BFF Lisa

We are off to sunny Devon this weekend & I am sooo looking forward to it. We get a mini break & not only that the younger 2 are now old enough to have a paddle in the sea. Mum has told me that the sea is lovely & warm at the min so really looking forward to getting in it! Joe is point blank refusing to wear shorts but if he wants to look the only one then thats fine, he is after all a teenager ;)

I should pop off now but I hope not to leave it this long again before I blog!

note to self, get more scrapping done as running sooo fare behind!

Wow has it really been that long since my last post!

I logged in today thinking it had only been a couple of months since my last post but the last post was actually in September!!!! MY goodness!

So what has been happening...........

Loads if I am honest. My 4 year old started school last September & is in Reception at a lovely school. It has been hard as he has had some 'issues'. We had him diagnosed last December with Asbergers. I will be honest I was devastated as I knew this would be hard. Mainly for him, but the bells rang loud before his diagnosis when they held a party at the school (the occasion I can't remember if I am honest) but he got overwhelmed & then walked off into a corner & just wanted to be quiet & alone. I thought this was just awful. On the plus side of it all we have the diagnosis early (not like with Joe at 13 & a half!!), so we are in a better position, but it is still new this end as we haven't done the system at this age. So we are all learning new things & meeting those who are best to help Tim with what he needs. I hope that he will get a better time at schools than Joe as no-one deserved what Joe went through pre-diagnosis.

Sam is pretty settled now at school which is great, he seems alot happier at his new school which I couldn't ask for anything else really. We did have an incident with a bully but I am pleased to say that the school have been great in handling that & as far as I am aware it has all settled again.

As far as Joe...well that one has been a journey! He was doing really well at school, then all of a sudden he is struggling with loads. His parents evening was the same really he is intelligent but we are having problems with him writing stuff down. I am trying so hard to get him the help that he needs, but unfortunately he hasn't really come to terms with being ASD so he kicks back when help is offered. However! he got some of his exam results for a couple of the papers he has done for his GCSE's & we couldn't be more proud. One of the papers he came away with an A* which is great, he is doing really well with his papers so he must be learning something! unfortunately the teachers are obviously still worried. I have asked for support for him within the class to help with the writing thing but we are still fighting that one at the min. Let's hope we sort it out soon so that he can be the best he can be.

He has also got his first 'proper' girlfriend, they have now been together for coming up to 8 months (I think, it could even be longer!) She is lovely and he seems really happy which is all we can ask.

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Oscar John Bean

We were so excited this year for the arrival of my nephew, but unfortunately we were instead as an entire family struck with the most tragic of news that we NEVER expected.

Oscar was born to the angels. The day I found out I was in a meeting with Mark & another person when the phone rang. It was Mum....we knew that my sister & her husband were in hospital to get a 'sweep' so of course I thought it was to tell us that he was born healthy & everyone was doing well so I picked up the phone as excited as you can imagine to then be told the worst news.

For anyone who goes through something as tragic as losing a child it is the worst possible pain imaginable. I couldn't even comprehend it from the parents prospective, but as far as a member of the extended family all we can do is support when needed. I dropped everything when I found out. Literally leaving Mark to hold the babies! I then had to be with my family in Devon no matter what. In times of need there is a must to be with family where possible.

If there is anything that anyone would like to do, then go to the SANDS website http://www.uk-sands.org/ this is an organisation who volunteer their services to those families in times of need and offer support & councelling to help support them through the pain of losing a child.

Oscar John Bean will never be forgotten & will always be in our hearts he is and will always be my gorgeous nephew. He was the most beautiful little boy. We miss you xxxxx

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Congratulations!

I would like to congratulate my brother-in-law Graham on his marriage to Tara earlier this year. I wish that we weren't so far away as we missed your special day. Welcome to the family Tara & we are hoping that it won't be too long before we can meet you face-to-face instead of over Skype!

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Ben is now 2! Can you believe it! He shared his birthday this year with a very special couple!!

We had the Royal Wedding of Prince William & Kate Middleton on his birthday this year....she looked amazing! I don't know how we can top his birthday next year!

He got a lovely trike for his birthday which he loves...not quite figured out how to use it yet, but he is working on that! (see the picture)

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Oprah

So after 25 years Oprah is finishing the Oprah Show. I can't believe it. Like many I have watched the show for the past 22 years. It was the first 'chat show' from the US and I remember that it was far from those like Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer & others. She covered all aspects of life from her weight, world issues amongst many many more too long to list and then she embarked on changing the way that we read by starting her own book club. Oprah also has many other causes, the Angel Network and also her school for girls in South Africa. Oprah is a true inspiration to all. I will be sad to see the show end, but am changed because of the Oprah show.

She introduced to Lisa Bearnson on a show about women who started were housewives and came up with an idea and turned them into businesses. Lisa Bearnson was a scrapbooker as a hobby then turned it in to her life and business. From that day on I have been a scrapper. Starting with my Nan's 80th birthday album which I created after watching the show to now having loads of scrapbooking products and becoming a part of who I am.

Another episode was the day she has some inspirational people on the show talking about The Secret. This is a book which changed the way you think and materialise. This I admit is a hard one as when things are really tough to then find something positive out of it seems impossible. I still struggle with it myself. But I am going to go back again and read it. Just to reinstate my thought process on life.

Eckhart Tolle 'A New Earth' was another inspirational book that I have read upon recommendation from Oprah's show. It tells you how to think past your ego! I am still reading it as I was hoping to have finish it but having time to do everything that I want is sometimes endless.

Eat Pray Love yet another book recommended on the show about a woman who decided when her life was not going in the direction she wanted decided to go & travel to experience different parts of the world & in the process re-discover her thirst on life. This was made into a film last year with Julia Roberts. As a woman I can truly see where she was coming from to re-discover the thirst to live life to the full. I have always wanted to travel and have made a pact with my BFF and we are going to travel with our backpacks when my kids are bigger. I CAN'T WAIT!

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A thought for you

Life always throws us curveballs to overcome & they can come in all shapes and sizes. It is our decision whether we choose to catch those balls to tackle whatever comes our way or whether we let them pass and struggle with the issues and let it eat us up.

I am trying to tackle everything that is thrown at me but I admit I sometimes think that Why me! Why them! Why! Why! Why! It is hard but the positive that comes out of them is the learning and growing that we do when we have tackled each thing head on